Why Our Children Don't Speak Tagalog

I've often wondered how and when upper-class school-aged Filipinos starting becoming more fluent in English than in our native language.  I recall all those "English campaigns" in school where you'd be fined for speaking a word of Tagalog, and everyone was either shutting up or uttering English words interspersed with "ano" and "kwan" and "you knows".  If you spoke English with a twang, people would look at you funny and think you're mayabang.  Although we ourselves grew up watching American cartoons, game shows and TV series, and we have tape recordings of our parents speaking to us in English, Tagalog was still our default language.  It still is for me and my wife Amity.

The funny thing is, my kids do not speak Tagalog at all.  Well, actually, if you look at their grades in the Filipino subject and you try to review them for exams, it becomes sooo NOT funny.  When I go to their school -- my alma mater -- the kids, from high schoolers down, speak English with a twang.  Amity and I were talking about it and we attribute it to Cable TV.  Digging further, we realized that our kids' being Tagalog-challenged is actually our fault.  Before they were born, we made a conscious decision to speak to our children in English to "train" them.  Even their aunts and uncles adjusted to them.  We made them watch only Barney, Dora and Diego, Disney Junior and Cartoon Network on Cable.  And we did not let them play out in our streets, lest they start speaking the PI's they'd hear from the grownups (and a lot of kids) in our neighborhood.  We the parents adjusted to our kids, and we know that we are bending over backwards because during heated scolding episodes, we find ourselves stumbling over our English, when the emotions would flow out more freely in Tagalog.  I know that we are not alone, as we hear it from our co-parents.  I see parents complaining on the FB thread about the school making Filipino too difficult for the poor children.  The irony is that their Filipino subject-bashing threads are all in English -- although not everyone has impeccable spelling and grammar -- when nobody is forcing them to do so.  And they wonder why their kids don't speak the language.  I'll bet they also speak to (and scold) the kids in English, and make them watch only English cable channels -- perhaps even tell the yaya  to talk to the child only in English.

And so we've resolved to make weekends "Filipino days", where Amity and I try to resist the unnatural urge to speak to the kids in English, and to force the kids to repeat what they are trying to say in Filipino.  So far, not so good.  But it's a start.


p.s.
By some strange coincidence, my prior post was a little over a year ago, and it was about starting to write in my blog all over again, for the 2nd time.  Let's hope 3rd time's a charm.

I Shall Never Spank My Children

I have long resolved to instill discipline in my children using words -- kind words, as much as possible -- rather than with physical punishment. I remember the first and only time I spanked Allen enough to hurt. He gave me this look filled with bewilderment and hurt, just before crying inconsolably. I could sense his feeling of being betrayed by the one person he trusted the most. I'll never forget that look, and since then I resolved never to hurt my kids out of anger, even it was intended to "discipline" them. Even though they are children, they are still human beings, capable of reasoning. They are not property or pets. I believe parents should try their best to talk to their children and explain why certain behaviors are improper. Hurting them physically only serves to encourage them to be violent and vengeful. In fact, if an adult would not like to be physically punished, why should a helpless child be subjected to such treatment?

Besides, what would you do to someone who yells at (or, God forbid, intentionally hurts) your child? If you can't take someone doing that to your children, how can you do it yourself?

Allen's First Costume Parade in DLSZ

Allen went on his first costume parade at DLSZ today.

Shades of Kapatiran...

The pupils paraded around school in storybook character costumes. They were supposed to avoid buying costumes, and were even encouraged to make their costumes from recycled stuff. We got his costume from a box of hand-me-downs from his Canadian cousins. It was a Peter Pan costume that we thought of passing off as Robin Hood, were it not for the zigzag-cut hem of the tunic (and our inability to buy a bow and arrow set). We really thought he had a unique costume. As it turned out, lots of other parents thought so too. Oh, and there were a lot of Transformers and superheroes (storybook characters?). As expected, most of the girls came as princesses.

According to Allen, he enjoyed his day -- especially when dismissal time came.

During our recent office outing, one of my single teammates asked if we worried that marriage would decrease the passion and bring boredom and monotony to the relationship.

I answered that it didn't, for us. It merely changed the pace -- instead of rushing to maximize every minute spent, we could now enjoy quiet moments just doing nothing, holding hands, looking at each other (then bursting out laughing for no reason).

When I mentioned that conversation to Amity her immediate response was, "how can it ever get boring with children?" For all my rhetoric, she is again able to get to the point. She's right. Our kids make every day so much richer, and bring unexpected opportunities for us to discover new things about each other as persons, partners and parents. And then there's the experience of discovering the world all over again through my sons' eyes. Yup, how can it ever get boring?

My 2nd comeback post

Funny how I've had all sorts of ideas for blog entries to write about yet I just havent been putting them down onscreen. So after several months of inactivity, I get to see my sister Denise's wedding page (yup folks, my only sister is getting married; and yes, she is the first of my siblings to get married after me) and get inspired by her random writings there to just put in a post.
There, that wasn't so painful. Now I see the appeal of Twitter for lazy writers like me to just get thoughts out there without composing too much.

This wasn't the grand comeback post I was hoping to write (as if there had been a lot of posts in the first place to merit being missed), but at least, it's a comeback. Next post will be longer and will come at a shorter interval than this one did. For now, gotta catch some shuteye.

Back After 2 Years - May this be for good

After more than 2 years, I finally get to post again to this blog. Let's hope I get to update regularly with satisfying essays, not mere tweets.

Work beckons...

My Friends

In my first post I mentioned that maybe I should get my friends interested in my blog. What better way than to write about my friends?

I've always been proud of my friends. I often find myself talking about the good accomplishments of some of my closest friends. In fact, some of their career stories have found their way into my Orient classes before, where I wanted to give examples of career paths to impressionable college kids. I believe I was able to give them the confidence about their futures with the positive stories about my friends career moves and developments.

To my friends, if you should find yourself the subject of a future post, know that I mean only the best, and that I would never intend to put you in a bad light. I just want others to be inspired by your life.

Please do call my attention immediately if I happen to paint an unflattering picture of you.

Advance thanks for letting me tell your life stories the way I have seen and experienced them.